The Defy Aging Newsletter
Anti-aging psychology, holistic health, and wellness
a biweekly e-mail newsletter for helping you think, feel, look, and be more youthful and live with purpose.
December 4, 2008 Number 200
Online Dating for Boomers and Seniors
Action to take
If you don't already think of the Internet as a great way to meet people, join the younger generations and adopt the belief.
Whether you are single and interested in dating or not, there is a lot to be learned from online dating. Plus, chances are you know some single people who might benefit from online dating. It isn't just young people and the 23½ million single Baby Boomers using online dating, more than five million people over 55 have used online dating as well.
Why date online? Instead of dating being largely limited to coworkers, people in common organizations, bars, and introductions from friends and family, online dating casts a huge net that greatly enhances your ability to find exactly the kind of person you are looking for. I recently had the pleasure of interviewing online dating psychologist Dr. Jim Houran on Ageless Lifestyles Radio.
Here is a summary of his advice: Novices probably do best by starting with large free sites like PlentyofFish.com to get a feel for online dating. With that feel, they may want to move on to niche sites. The biggest mistake people make is not investing the time and effort in well thought out postings and engaging photographs.
The other big mistake people often make is not being clear about who they are and what they are looking for. It's not magic, it's a process of increasing the odds of success. I especially liked the idea that it isn't necessarily the most glamorous photo, but often the most friendly and approachable one that gets the click.
On similarity and compatibility, it appears that similarity helps with religion, values, and perhaps politics, and is somewhat important for education and intelligence. When it comes to personality, however, it is hard to predict what works. Finally, Dr. Houran suggested that rather than just matching for similarities, as eharmony.com does, the most sophisticated online dating sites are assessing and coaching. I.e., the assessments give suggestions on where and how to look and how to present yourself. Of course, this runs the risk of the advice being self-serving for paid services as opposed to objective advice that is in your best interest.
Dr. James Houran is a columnist for onlinedatingmagazine.com where he has several dozen articles. Rather than the usual off the cuff advice, Dr. Houran's columns are solidly based in research and even footnote sources. His "Office Hours with Dr. Jim" column are at www.onlinedatingmagazine.com.
Love doesn't grow on the trees like apples in Eden -- it's something you have to make and you must use your imagination to make it too, just like anything else. It's all work, work.
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
The big thing today is computer dating. If you don’t know how to run a computer, it really dates you.
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"Dr. Michael Brickey, The Anti-Aging Psychologist, teaches people to think, feel, look and be more youthful. He is an inspiring keynote speaker and Oprah-featured author. His works include: Defy Aging, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, and Reverse Aging (anti-aging hypnosis CDs). Visit www.NotAging.com for a free report on anti-aging secrets and a free newsletter with practical anti-aging tips."