The Life Makeover Program to take your life to a higher level

Initially, I had some concerns about how men might treat a thinner me but that proved to be a non-issue. It has been a lot easier to make friendships with men. Not much has happened romantically so far but you never know. I think the fact that the weight loss and fitness happened gradually helped me gradually absorb the changes and to feel more confident about the changes being here to stay. While I cut myself some slack on occasionally straying from my nutrition and fitness lifestyle, anytime I am tempted to stray very far, I remind myself how much better my life has become and how I would never want to go back to that "anonymous" self.

Another huge change is in how I talk to myself. My self-talk used to put me down or get me anxious. Now I am my own cheerleader. I can choose moods and attitudes like choosing a radio station. I now change moods and self-talk by changing what I am doing physically or changing my language and voice qualities. I also am using music and conditioned responses to access peak experiences. It was I knew how to play the "cool under pressure" self-talk voice and how to play the "worry wart" voice. Now I increasingly choose to play the cool under pressure voice.

Also instead of thinking of myself as a procrastinator, I see myself as a jack-of-all trades who is clear about what she wants and gets things done. Being clear about priorities, breaking things down into manageable units, and focusing on seeing the outcomes made a big difference. Further, I know from experience that I can get things done on deadline.

The quality of the questions I asked myself also improved. Instead of asking, Why me? I have been asking questions such as, How can I make this a great day? Fighting off depression when I lost my job "built up my mental muscles" in managing my moods and not getting into a funk.

Being laid off threw me for a while. I feared my friends would look down on me. Instead I found my friends were a great support team. I make it a point to talk with some of my supportive friends every week. Just as I came to see myself as interesting and attractive, I came to see myself as having a lot to offer employers. Eventually I got a position that made good use of my skills and paid decently. In my spare time I kept testing the waters to find markets for selling ceramics. Now I am at a point where I need to choose whether to continue my "day job" or focus full-time on filling orders and marketing.

I still am not crazy about moving in with mom but I plan to keep my promise to her. I realize that my friends will probably see me as an admirable dutiful daughter (as opposed to someone who had to live with her mother because she couldn't support herself). We worked out very practical arrangements for who does what and who pays for what. Setting my ceramics business up at her house should work very well and sharing expenses helps. I love having discretionary income. I won't worry about mom and I don't have to waste any time time driving her home or taking care of two homes.

As I experiences these changes I found myself saying: This is the real me. This is my destiny. Many thanks for your coaching.

I now feel like I can talk to anybody about anything—from family to highbrow to lowbrow to people from different countries. I now see myself as a natural "anthropologist"—easily relating well in any culture. And of course, being a talented anthropologist fits well with my eclectic tastes. I really like the Sharon I am becoming. In my personal life and career I am now writing my own script rather than continuing with some scripts that were around since junior high school years.

Loosening up my self-image of having to be strong also helped. While I can be strong, I more typically call upon being smart and resourceful in meeting my needs, including sometimes asking for help. I also feel I have more perspective and am less inclined to slip into an unresourceful mood or martyr posture (e.g., the way I used to ask why I had to be the only one to... or ask why other people weren't more responsible). I increasingly find myself in a "flow" state. I'm also glad to be a hero and role model for my family. It's amazing how the clarity of purpose and being myself is helping me in dating.

I also am more at peace and can regain my balance more quickly. I take things more in stride, deal with change better, am more self-possessed, and more confident. Most of all I know how to ask myself better questions.

As you know I have become more physically fit and love the way my body feels. I love pairing peak feelings with cues so I can trigger powerful or resourceful states when I need them.

Age is bringing financial prudence and I am reaching the point where I will never pay credit card interest again. I receive great satisfaction from sticking it to the credit car companies as opposed to being enslaved to them. Before long I will have a savings account and eventually my own condo. My father is very proud to know that I am developing a financial safety net.

I remember I used to think that I had to choose between being organized and being spontaneous and child-like. Now I am having fun being the sticker lady. Like my friend Mary, I keep the trunk of my car stocked for a spur-of-the moment picnic. Like mad money on a date, it is a great symbol of freedom. My daughters notice the difference and seem more comfortable with growing up.

Being more comfortable with spontaneity also helped me become more organized. It was a question of breaking things down into smaller units. Especially helpful was picking the few 15-minute or less tasks I want to try to accomplish on a particular day.

The serenity prayer helped me deal with the craziness at work. An attitude of gratitude and perspective also helps with the city traffic.

While I don't think about it much, I'm also more comfortable with myself spiritually. I realize I was carrying around a lot of other people's shoulds about religion instead of being comfortable with the me that has evolved—a very conscientious and spiritual person who has "outgrown" the traditional, dogma-based, spoon-fed approaches to religion. I have the moral integrity and honesty to pursue the right thing without the support of traditional religious institutions and now I give myself credit for it.

When I said the women in my family were strong, I had no idea how strong until last year. But I am happy to say we are more than just strong. We are fun-loving, spontaneous, insightful, savvy, and even spiritual. I'm very proud of how I went all out last year despite many challenges. It was well worth it an exceeded my dreams. When I put my mind to something, it happens. I guess I'd better choose wisely what I put my mind to this year. Thank you so much for your help.