The Defy Aging Newsletter
a biweekly e-mail newsletter for helping you
think, feel, look, and be more youthful and live with purpose
March 27, 2007         Number 162

This issue:
Mutual Love Stories

Action to take

Check to see if you and your partner share a similar love story.

If not, see if you can develop a mutual love story.

 

Why

 

People all over the world crave love stories–in books, magazines,

television, music, theatre, and fairly tales. They play a big role

in our culture and our psyches. When you pair off with a lover or partner,

you probably have some stories in your mind that validate your beliefs about love.

 

There are many types of love story scripts. For Dr. Zhivago love was

a passionate poetic adventure. In The African Queen, Captain Allnut (Bogey)

and Miss Sayer (Hepburn) found that fighting adversity together brought

admiration, respect, and even love. "I never dreamed any mere physical experience

could be so stimulating!" says Ms Sayer. Romeo and Juliet saw love as a compelling force

as did Tony and Maria in the remake, West Side Story in which they sing,

"When love comes so strong, there is no right or wrong."

 

Love stories can emphasize pure sensuality as in Tristan and Isolde, being drawn to

character as in Frank Capra movies, or destiny as in Aida. Gilbert and Sullivan

suggest love is folie B deux. Many Western and hero movies have the man as hero and protector.

In Fiddler on the Roof, Goldie and Tevye find love comes from sharing

experiences and following traditions over the years.

 

O'Henry's Gift of the Magi suggests love is mutual self-sacrifice. You'll recall

the poor wife sold her hair to buy her husband a watch chain for Christmas

and he sold his watch to buy her combs. Perhaps the sappiest script for

love is “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” from Love Story.

 

So what story results in the best marriages?

Psychologist Robert Sternberg’s research found that

all kinds of stories can bring happy, fulfilling relationships.

Couples are more likely to be happy and fulfilled, however,

when they subscribe to the same story.

 

American couples in the nineteenth century usually had a story

with traditional roles and lifelong fidelity. In the 1960s,

the women’s liberation movement affected a lot of divorces

when many wives’ scripts for marriage changed and

their husbands wanted to keep the traditional scripts.

Today we have even more varied stories.

 

You can determine your love story script by considering
your favorite love stories and movies or simply thinking about
what your relationship or marriage would be like if it were
exactly as you would like it to be. How does that compare
with your partner’s story? If it is different, can you develop
a mutually fulfilling story?


Quotes

 

Suffering is the true cement of love.
~Paul Sabatier

 

The cat and the love you give away come back to you.
~(source unknown)

 

Humor


Soldier leaving base, "This has got to be love at first sight.

I'm on an eight hour pass."

 

Platonic love is the interval between events.

 

Bachelors are the bootleggers of love.

This article is from:

THE DEFY AGING NEWSLETTER
Anti-Aging Psychology
Holistic Health and Wellness

The following newsletter articles may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the attribution below is given. Formatting may be changed and you may use one of the web site pictures of the author to accompany the article.  

 

"Dr. Michael Brickey, The Anti-Aging Psychologist, teaches people to think, feel, look and be more youthful. He is an inspiring keynote speaker and Oprah-featured author. His works include:  Defy Aging, 52 Baby Steps to grow young, and Reverse Aging (anti-aging hypnosis CDs). Visit www.NotAging.com for a free report on anti-aging secrets and a free newsletter with practical anti-aging tips."